If Your Colorado Town Were a Car, What Would It Look Like?

When automakers want to move vehicles, they tap the Centennial State for marketing material. The Kia Telluride, the Dodge Durango, and the completely redesigned 2023 Chevy Colorado all exude a rugged individualism that seems to turn browsers into buyers. Although three models may seem like a lot, if anything, we think our state is underutilized when it comes to four-wheeled branding. After all, there are plenty of Colorado locales with auto-ready auras that go far beyond the frontier spirit.

The Central Park

When traffic’s your jam.

Its namesake bedroom community—home to the commute-killing I-70/I-270 bottleneck—embodies the suburban experience, so it’s only fitting that the self-driving Central Park takes that car-centric lifestyle and drives with it. While you’re enjoying amenities such as a flat-screen TV, claw-foot tub, and onboard Peloton, traffic is no longer a stressor. It’s a sanctuary.

The Aspen

Take flight without leaving the ground.

G5 private jets are great because you travel above the proletariat (literally), but by leaving the ground, you miss the opportunity to see us common folk marvel at how much higher you are (figuratively). The Aspen offers all the luxury expected by the jet set, including a highly trained crew to meet their every whim, but at an elevation that enables others to bask in their greatness.

The Simla

Push the limits.

Simla, a tiny town between Colorado Springs and Limon on U.S. 24, is the top Colorado city on speedtrap.org. Translation: The cops there want you to go fast so they can ticket you and raise more revenue. It’s a small fine to pay for tacit permission to unleash all 12 cylinders of the Simla.

The Commerce City

Let someone else worry about “climate change.”

Taking its cue from the majestic Suncor refinery that rises over the town, this six-miles-per-gallon (highway), emissions-spewing behemoth encourages you to embrace the moment—and then run it over—because the future is going to be a hellscape anyway