Hogwarts Houses, Colorado Edition

From August 22 to 24, RiNo’s Exdo Event Center will be transfigured into Hogwarts’ Great Hall when event company Wizard’s Brunch hosts banquets for costumed guests. (Tickets start at $35.) That got us thinking: What would Denver be like if it existed in Harry Potter’s world full time?

Gryffindor

Traits: Courageous, adventurous, determined

Nolan Arenado, Colorado Rockies Third Baseman
Drafted 59th overall, Arenado has a chill affect that belies natural athleticism and insane resolve: His drive eventually earned him an eight-year, $260 million contract.

Chauncey Billups, Retired NBA Player and Developer
Billups wants to turn Five Points’ Rossonian Hotel, a landmark for Denver’s African American community, into a boutique hotel—brave, given the property’s history of failed revivals.

Susan Helms, Retired Astronaut
Being the first woman to crew the International Space Station didn’t satiate Helms’ desire to explore. She also holds the record for the longest spacewalk (nearly nine hours).

Slytherin

Traits: Ambitious, shrewd, self-preserving

Michael Hancock, Denver Mayor
In winning a third term despite numerous obstacles (see: a sexual harassment scandal and a run-off election), Hancock displayed Severus Snape–like survival instincts.

Mark Kennedy, University of Colorado President
As a Minnesota congressman a decade ago, he voted against legalizing gay marriage. Now, Kennedy, named CU’s leader in May, says his opinion has shifted with society’s. A sly response.

Mikaela Shiffrin, Olympic Skier
An intense desire to be the best, less-than-collegial relations with her teammates, and a highly involved parent make Shiffrin a natural fit in the house of Malfoy.

Ravenclaw

Traits: Intelligent, wise, humorous

Leslie Herod, Colorado State Representative
District 8’s legislator displays a wealth of knowledge about prison reform, health care, and more and knows how to get things done: 73 percent of her bills passed during her first term.

Robert F. Smith, Billionaire and Philanthropist
A true lover of learning, the Colorado-born venture capitalist is using part of his $5 billion fortune to pay off the student loans of the class of 2019 at Morehouse College, a historically black men’s school in Georgia.

Kristen Schaal, Actress/Comedian
The Longmont native gives Louise Belcher her signature squawk on popular television show Bob’s Burgers, though her offbeat stand-up shows dole out less whine and more wit.

Hufflepuff

Traits: Loyal, patient, honest

Kyle Clark, News Anchor
As a Channel 9 newsman, Clark has a reputation for being droll, yet he’s committed to the truth. In 2017, for example, he broke a story about Longmont’s housing authority searching low-income properties without a warrant.

Cleo Parker Robinson, Founder, Cleo Parker Robinson Dance
After 49 years (and counting) at the helm of her dance company, which introduces children around the Denver metro area to ballet, Robinson’s dedication to her work is still en pointe.

Nathaniel Rateliff, Musician
This singer-songwriter made it big in 2015, more than a dozen years after he entered the Denver music scene (he played with several bands before the Night Sweats). That’s one long-suffering S.O.B.