I know where I will move when I’ve had enough of listening to inconsiderate people’s cell phone conversations while I’m standing in line at the grocery store or eating lunch at my favorite restaurant: Victor, Colorado. Victor is a mountain town with a population of 45o. It is one of the only locations in Colorado without cell phone service.

Welcome to the village that cellphone technology forgot, one of the very few towns left in Colorado where cellphones are about as useful as a tide chart, a place where roaming charges refer to the cost of fixing the fence and getting the stray cow back.

Victor’s teenage population is very upset.

Take Anthony Linenberger, who is 14. He has a cellphone. He just can’t use it in town. When he’s out and wants to know what a friend is doing, he has to use the town’s lone pay phone or — and you might want to sit down before reading this — actually walk to the friend’s house and knock on the door. It’s, like, prehistoric, you know?

I think it sounds great. The closest place to get cell phone service is the local cemetary. Wouldn’t that be your worst nightmare, having to listen to strangers’ banal conversations throughout eternity?