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If you’ve toured as many breweries as we have, you’ve likely noticed that brewers have all kinds of crazy names for their equipment—especially tanks. Here, a compilation of some of Colorado’s best. (The winner is at the bottom!)
Most Clever: River North Brewery uses a tank named “Louis Pasteur Cultural Events Center.” The name was brewed up in a social media contest. They get bonus points for “Moby-Dick,” their largest tank, which is used to brew River North White.
Most Consistent: Chain Reaction Brewing Company uses female names (“Ariel,” “Deandra,” “Eleanor,” “Sophie,” and “Clarissa”). Sadly, no “Natasha”—yet.
Most Historical: While not as intimidating as Genghis Khan, the “Brewblai Khan” fermenter is a force at Dad & Dude’s Breweria.
Most Elevated: Lone Tree Brewing Company named a tank “Wide-Body Flyer” because co-owner John Winter used to take to the skies in one.
Most Hilarious: Copper Kettle Brewing Company named their first 30-barrel fermenter “Frank the Tank,” after the owner’s 20-pound cat (pictured above).
Most Space Conscious: The fermenter and server tanks needed to fit into an old cooler space in a converted restaurant at Kannah Creek Brewing Company, which meant they had to be short and squat. Thus, both earned the nickname “Chubby.”
Most Social: Yak & Yeti Brewpub held a Facebook-naming contest for their tanks. Our favorite of the winners: “Mount Ever-yeast.”
Most Fun to Say: Bootstrap Brewing named a pair of tanks, ordered at the same time, after two of the famous Gabor sisters—“Eva” and “Zsa Zsa.” We just like saying “Zsa Zsa” again and again.
Most ’80s: The modifications on the grundy tank at Pateros Creek Brewing Company earned it an appropriate moniker: “The Flux Capacitor.”
Most Adorable: The short and stubby grundy tank at Left Hand Brewing Company is, appropriately, called “Hop2 D2.”
Most Rhythm: The folks at Dry Dock Brewing Co. often name their tanks after pop culture icons. We’re particularly fond of “Jake” and “Elwood” (inspired by the main characters of The Blues Brothers).
Most Brownie Points: The crew at Butcherknife Brewing Company named a tank “Mom.” Aw.
Most Huggable: “Baby Bear,” a large oak barrel at the Crooked Stave Artisan Beer Project, was the company’s first equipment purchase.
Most Used: Black Bottle Brewery’s “Big Ferm” is so cranky and old that it was “discontinued” as a fermenter, but still works on as a hot liquor tank.
Most Nostalgic: The Goonies’ “Chunk” is iconic—and the inspiration for the name of one of Verboten Brewing’s big tanks.
Most Teamwork: Wit’s End Brewing Company’s tanks are named after The A-Team (“B.A. Baracus,” “Hannibal,” “Face,” and “Murdock”).
Most Blue: The fermentation tanks at Funkwerks, Inc. are named after The Smurfs, including “Papa Smurf,” a 30-barrel fermenter.
Most Neighborly: Epic Brewing Company’s wooden barrel, which is used for their sour beer program, came from New Belgium Brewing Company, so they called it “Brewtherly Love.”
THE WINNER:
Red Leg Brewing Company’s “Chevy” tank gets its name from a special person. “Our fermenter was named after SFC (Sergeant First Class) Steven Chevalier, who was a soldier of mine who was killed in action in Samarra, Iraq, July 9, 2008,” writes founder Todd Baldwin. “We decided that this was the best way to honor his memory and as a daily reminder to the sacrifices that so many of our friends made so we could brew beer.”
